Goldie Hawn is an entitled twenty-something whose privileged whimsy and whiny co-dependence find her two DOA marriages (one quite literally), then an impromptu Army enlistment. Can a woman break convention by breaking enemy lines? Are me Major A-holes worldwide? Stand at attention to receive our best review since the last one. 

A diamond heist-double murder-getaway sucks street savvy Sidney Poitier out of his element into the backwoods. Mountain man, Tom Berenger is his mismatch made in Heaven in this buddy cop flick turned wilderness chase. Will Shoot to Kill still thrill? Chill with us.

Tales from the Crypt presents a common horror comedy recipe: one part disparate group of social outcasts, one part Billy Zane/hoard of demons, and one part isolated location (a rundown hotel whose sole housekeeper is Jada Pinkett pre-Smith). Mix 'em together and what do ya got: celluloid gold? Tune in to find out, ya f---ing hoedown podunk well then there MOTHERF---ERS!!

Clint Eastwood directs Forest Whitaker as swinging Charlie "Bird" Parker. Neither drugs, race, the FBI, nor critics - ever came between Bird and his alto sax. Is this bebopping biopic as dedicated to getting its groove on as the musician? Hear us toot our horns.

Danny Boyle directs Ewan McGregor in this acclaimed indie endeavor about heroin addicts destroying everything in their path. It's amusing, disgusting, obstreperous and unflinching in hitting the lows of lives less than ordinary. Does it deserve another chance, like its characters? Or should it be buried in a shallow grave?

A boy haunts a house from a hidden grave and George C. Scott is hellbent on unearthing why. This 1980 horror flick helped set the stage for the next decade of spooky films. Will it have you changeling your undies or the channel? Hear us coast to ghost.

The once "Sexiest Man Alive" (now deceased), Sean Connery pilots a killer Russian sub into the open arms of the original Jack Ryan, Alex Baldwin (also a "Sexiest Man Alive", still living). Does this defector flick have any defects? Hear three "arrogant asses" assess.

Dragons, sorcerers, magical amulets, secret identities, virgin sacrifices, reincarnation, enchanted weapons, early Christianity and more. Does this 1981 fantasy film try to do too much or not enough? Conjure up some time to sit with us for a spell.

Rodney Dangerfield is a rich businessman who joins his son at college to "help" him find his way - and finds himself hot for teacher. Can the kind of self-deprecating one-liners pass his classes AND stay classy? We do a Triple Lindy into our best review yet.

Is it possible - To watch a movie so much it stops being funny? - To root for a fictional version of an actual franchise? - To cast actors so perfectly it becomes the best film in all their careers? Come visit David S. Ward's fantasy baseball team and see if this movie still touches all the bases.

Damon, Norton, Malkovich, Turturro... the greatest hits of the late 90's play big stakes underground poker instead of getting real jobs. In short, you've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em. Know when to walk away, know when to run... and tune into the brains.

This brat-packed adaptation of S.E. Hinton's novel follows the rumbling teens of Tulsa through traumatic times. Coppola nails casting, but is out of his comfort zone with this YA film. Did it stay gold... or should it remain on the shelf?

Dustin Hoffman is out of the pen and claims he's going legit. When his sour parole officer serves him a double dose of "doubtful hard ass," all bets are off. Is a crime spree nature versus nurture? Is working straight time hard than doing hard time? Check in with us!

We Three Kings of film review are

Talkin' about Ice Cube & costars...

Wahlberg, Clooney, & gold robbery.

Still a film above par?

It takes a campy zombie movie to prove that true love never dies, but it sometimes comes back from the dead and tries to eat your brains! This early zombie flick helped define the genre but should it be resurrected? Feast on this!

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